Jonath-ant Living-stoned Sea Gullible

Recently I have been caused to look at the Herring gulls around Tenby with fresh eyes. I mean I’ve always thought of them as being the cats of the bird world, it’s those unreadable, affectionless, guiltless eyes, but now I’m beginning to think they may just be a little vacant. Not because I think they are naturally dumb, on the contrary, I think they are particularly smart, but it is the fact that it has been reported in the Observer that a local councilor and a bird expert thinks that they may be stoned or drunk….

DRUNK GULLS

I’m having a job getting my brain round this one, but it seems that not only have drunken revelers or just stupid ones been feeding the gulls beer. (Wow have they seen the gulls picking out dirty nappies and full dog poo bags from the bin to get to the chips underneath? Hmm, hygienic.)

But apparently experts have suggested that gulls are also eating flying ants and that the formic acid contained in the ants, converts in gulls stomachs to produce a drugged or drunken like state!!! Crumbs I had no idea Gulls could eat Ants. I mean physically picking them up with their beaks!? I mean chips, fish, ice-creams, pasties, cakes and small furry pets yes…but ants? How many do they need to eat to get to the required state of oblivion and aggression that makes them swoop onto unsuspecting people to steal their food and treats? And I mean Ants are not a filling snack otherwise clearly the gulls would just fly away and abandon the quest for chips.

I think we have already dealt with drunken Stag and Hen dos in the press and come out the other side intact; please, let’s not hype up the gull issues and potentially inadvertently encourage drunken revelers to crawl around the streets licking the pavements for a free, organic high in the form of an ant with wings!! Oh no! What next?

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